[Stoves] The blind men and the cooking stove

[Crispin Pemberton-Pigott]

With apologies to John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887)

Blind Men and the Cooking Stove

It was six men of Indostan,
To testing much inclined,
Who went to test a cooking stove
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might test it with his mind.

The First approach’d the cooking stove,
And happening to fall
Against its broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! But a cooking stove
Is structured like a wall!”

The Second, hand upon the fuel,
Cried, -“Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear,
This stove cannot support a pot
That much is crystal clear!”

The Third approached the boiling pot,
And happening to take
The jiggling handle with his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” -quoth he- “this cooking stove
Is somewhat like a snake!”

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the shroud:
“What wondrous feature this stove has
Is plain,” – he quoth aloud,-
“‘This most efficient cooking stove
By women will be ‘Wowed’!”

The Fifth, who chanced to touch a knob,
Said- “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact, who can.
This modern forced air cooking stove
Has a computer fan!”

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the stove to grope,
Then, seizing on the sunken pot
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” -quoth he,- “improv-ed stoves
Can’t cook, there is no hope!”

These testing men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each to his own opinion held
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

MORAL,

So, oft in theologic wars
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean;
And prate about efficient stoves

Not one of them has seen!

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